Well- November has arrived and the passage of the time really only emphasizes how little I'm accomplishing. Not that I have any goal I'm reaching for. You know, other than financial security and a generally positive feeling of self-worth. Minor issues really.
I babysat for a woman who had graduated from Purchase College back in the 90s as a singing major. She said that after college she did the waiting tables thing and babysat for this opera singer who was divorcing her husband. She said the opera singer was an anxious mess because she was broke, with a kid, barely being able to afford living in the city which was a necessity for her work. The mom realized that she didn't want to be 40 and finding herself in that situation so she found this nursing program at Columbia University that was designed for people who already had a non-nursing degree and she became a midwife.
She told me that she thought I would be a great midwife, how I was nurturing, smart, blah, blah, blah. She admitted that it was pretty expensive but that in the end you'd be a nursing graduate from Columbia and that speaks volumes.
I won't deny that she was like a voice from the heavens. A nursing degree from Columbia! Already having a random degree is required! Be a midwife, so interesting and unexpected! I looked up the program online. I'd have a year of pre-requisites before I could even apply. My conservatory degree kicking me in the ass with the whole no science/math requirements. I'd have to take the GRE. This girl here, the person whose last math class was a remedial my senior year of high school. Suddenly it was daunting but I signed up for the Open House.
That was the nail in the coffin. Was the school great sounding? Sure, it was Columbia University. But it was also a bit more expensive from the 90s when the mom had attended. It's a two year, super intense program. The first year you're in class from 8am-8pm. At least. You don't work. As a matter of fact the director of the program said “Don't get married, don't move, don't have a kid, don't go on vacation.” The first year ALONE is about $100,000. And that's this year. What happens in two years when I'd actually be ready to attend? I'm a married, 30-yr-old. If I get in debt for almost $200,000 now it really makes the rest of our lives a living hell. Having money for a kid, buying a house or car, just moving out of a one-bedroom walk-up would all seem a lot more impossible.
The head of admissions was honest (another great thing about them) she said “We are Columbia University. We are expensive. But let's face it, you will be nurses. What does that mean? It means you are like teachers. You are not going to be paid what you should be getting paid. So you need to really examine if this is the right choice for you and your family.”
So. No, it's not the right choice for me. You've got to do the test. If someone asked me “Do you want to be a midwife?” I would not run up to a mountain top to scream at the top of my lungs 'YES! I DO!' Not for 200k. I mean midwifery is cool, kind of earth-mother, respectable. But it's an idea. It's not a calling.
