1-1-11

So I attended a get-together and I walked into conversation about New Year's resolutions and the fact that they were being discussed as part of a game. But then the conversation turned into just discussing resolutions in general and I personally don't create resolutions. I could be perceiving it wrong but I think one of the persons thought I was mocking the idea of resolutions and became slightly defensive about the fact that they make resolutions and last year they stuck to it and because of it their life has changed and so why wouldn't they stick to it this year. I hadn't wanted to make it a big deal- I find it commendable that people will actually stick to their resolutions- it's just a behavioral modification that's never worked for me.

I jokingly said that I'm not much of a goal-oriented person so resolutions are kind of pointless and Mark said that it wasn't true. I make goals all the time it just takes me awhile. I jokingly compared myself to the tortoise in the tortoise and the hare stories. Another person said “yes but the tortoise wins”. Which, surprisingly, made me feel better about myself. I might go slow and steady but hopefully I do get there, wherever there is. I mean...I make plans to do something all the time and most of them fall through. I don't make the lasagna on Thursday that I thought I was going to. I didn't go to the post office today like I said I would. My desk didn't get organized by the end of the weekend. But there is some big stuff coming my way and as long as I take it step by step (with a few anxiety melt downs and sobbing along the way) I can actually achieve something.

I'm trying really hard to begin attending school this spring. I'm terrified. The classes are already full. I might have to pay out of pocket or getting AmeriCorps money will be difficult. The schedule will stress me out as I try not to lose any babysitting hours. And in general I will just feel out of place and lonely. But I've been fighting to start these classes since early October and now I'm really close. The next two years will be pretty rough. But I do allow myself to get excited about what might happen when I'm finally a bit more financially secure. So I guess I am capable of some positive future thinking...I just don't like to talk about it.

Past Reads: 2010

The books I've read in 2010. That's for the entertainment Literary World!

PAST READS: 2010

Strange but True by John Searles
Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
The Weight of Water by Anita Shreve
Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern
Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese
Whitehorn Woods by Maeve Binchy
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
Girls in Trucks by Katie Crouch
A Fair Maiden by Joyce Carol Oates
Day After Night by Anita Diamant
The French Gardener by Santa Montefiore
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Things You Should Know by A.M. Homes
Best Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner
Honolulu by Alan Brennert
Saint Maybe by Anne Tyler
The Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell
The Piano, Screenplay by Jane Campion
The Lonely Hearts Club by Elizabeth Eulberg
Going Bovine by Libba Bray

Barefoot by Elin Hilderbrand
Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer
Brooklyn by Colm Tóibín
A Change in Altitude by Anita Shreve

The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga
Out Stealing Horses by Per Petersen
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
Rules of the Road by Joan Bauer
Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
Fortune's Rocks by Anita Shreve
Body Surfing by Anita Shreve
Saving Fish From Drowning by Amy Tan

Odds & Ends

Don't complain to me about how you have no money. I mean, can you be any more tacky? I just spent my evening in your lovely 2-bedroom apartment with a sunken living room feeding, bathing, and putting your kids to bed so you can throw me some cash so I can put food on the table. And you sit there complaining you're broke while you take off your designer coat, sit in your designer dress, remove you fancy high heels that you bought earlier that week, and say thanks for working until midnight while me and my husband attend our annual soiree that we throw every year at a lovely Manhattan location. Oh, by the way, my husband will drive you home in our luxury car. Good Night!
*Fantasize about stabbing in the throat here*

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My parrot sucks. He's yelling at epic volume even though he got more quiche this morning for breakfast than I did. Sometimes I just want to let him fly out the window. It's just so hard to keep my already fragile state of mind set to calm when he's going ballistic.

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I was finally accepted as a transfer to a community college so that I can begin my studies in radiologic technology. As you can imagine it's my dream come true to get ready to spend years of my life in scrubs lifting smelly old ladies and men onto tables to photograph their broken hips. So considering I'm filled with joy to go and begin this journey it would only be right that the universe has to make it as difficult as possible. Congratulations, you're finally accepted- except you have to get a physical with no health insurance, and you have only two classes you really need to start the actual program but they're already full because everyone needs to take them and registration was over weeks ago. Enjoy!

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Mark is going to get me a couch for Christmas which I actually find very inspired of him even if it is over his budget. I'm so excited to be done with this futon. Don't get me wrong, the futon has been good to us. The pad was Mark's for many years and even acted as our bed for awhile, the frame was found by my mother and so the futon cost us nothing and has been useful. But it's extremely uncomfortable. It has zero padding and quite frankly I've run out of large blankets to fold and stuff underneath the pad to mask the feeling of sitting on wood planks. Here's to couch shopping!

Mission: Turkey

Happy Day After Thanksgiving!

I hosted for the first time ever. I've been hoarding these recipes from Real Simple magazine for years. The article is dated November 2003 and I'm not sure where I was when I found it. Maybe AmeriCorps. Maybe somewhere in California. But either way when I saw this spread I thought "One day I might host Thanksgiving I might as well be ready".

Well, it happened.

It started off pretty rough. A dad I babysit for asked me "Are you going to brine your turkey?" I started to panic because I had been prepping for this day, reading recipe after recipe and nowhere was brine mentioned. So I emailed my uncle who is the cooking person in the family and who has hosted Thanksgiving for years and asked him what he thought. And he essentially said "Hell yes. Brine away!"

So I googled and emotionally prepared and I began to brine. I created the salt water mixture in my tray and even though I remember Bill Nye the Science Guy teaching me about displacement I still managed to put too much water in the tray so when I plopped that turkey down briney, raw-meaty water spilled all over my counter. And since my counters are crooked that water quickly spilled all over my kitchen. Yay.

The next day I prepped the turkey. It was a roasted orange and sage turkey. Mark ventured to Trader Joe's just to buy the sage as the Inwood supermarkets have heard of no such thing (what? herbs existing that don't go in sofrito?)

I stuffed that turkey good full of garlic and oranges. Later that night, a full ten hours later as soon as my head hit the pillow I realized that I totally spaced and forgot to put the sage in the turkey. Genius! So Thanksgiving morning I woke up early, cut the twine off the legs, unstuffed the turkey, shoved it full of sage, and replaced the oranges and garlic.

Well, eventually my meal was ready:

Roasted orange and sage Turkey with roasted orange gravy
Apple and Sausage stuffing
Rosemary Cornbread
Homemade Cranberry Sauce
Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Vanilla Sauce
Pumpkin Pie
Chocolate Orange Mousse

my mom brought over potato salad and arroz con gandules....you know the Puerto Rican parts that I just can't do. It was soooo good.

That truly was the best turkey I've ever had. It was so moist, no one even used the gravy!

After a massive dish washing event (dishes were washed in three separate parts. A trifecta of dirty dishes, if you will) Mark and I went for a walk. I hadn't been outside all day and my belly was way too full to fall asleep without a little walk. It was about 10pm and yet Inwood would not let us down. Walking down Broadway we managed to see a heavy-set "butch" woman meandering across the street completely topless and then as we approached the very brightly lit Bank of America we were blessed to catch a homeless bag lady run right under a spotlight and squat to take a very urgent leak. So loud it still haunts me now.

Needless to say we hurried home.

Not Even a Ghoul

I was totally ready this year. A whole month ago I wandered into Rite Aid to get my drug store fix, you know, stare at the lotions, ponder the need for more mascara, try to convince myself that I do indeed need some more shampoo when I came across the candy aisle. It was still hot out, fall hadn't entered anyone's radar and Halloween candy was already experiencing sale prices. I thought I'd grab a few bags of it and be fully prepared for perhaps ungrateful yet possibly excited children to ring my partially functioning door bell.
Two weeks after that, Mark bought me 3 mini pumpkins and when Halloween arrived I sat them outside my door in a very 'come hither' manner. I was announcing to the children in the building "Processed sugar available here!".

And yet here it is, 9:40pm and not one single knock. I'm surprised at how sad I am. And I can't even eat the candy myself because then I will never speak to me again. Though I won't deny that I tried only to be spoken to in an unkind manner by Mark who warned me of all the evil things that will happen to me if I dared keep all these snack-sized Snickers to myself.

Bah Humbug!
Oh wait...wrong holiday.

Adventures in Babysitting

Almost everyday I write a list and every time on this list I put 'write blog post'. And yet, I never do. So here I am. I'm excited to be writing a post again I just don't have the discipline. Which is exactly why my degree never worked out for me. I'm just not strict enough with myself. But anyway moving on...

I'm almost a full time babysitter now. I watch three sets of siblings that's six kids total. I'm exhausted. I know you're chewing your nails dying to know what my schedule is so I'll cut the suspense and just share:

Monday

7:30-9:00 AM

Go to The Girls (2 sisters) home. Help get breakfast and last minute morning things ready. Take them to school. One in kindergarten at 8:30 and then another gets dropped off at 9 at nursery.

2:45-5:30 PM

Pick up Girls at school. One at 2:45 the other at 3:30. Take them to the Big Girl's soccer class where she has an anxiety breakdown because she doesn't like being the only girl in the class. That ends about 5:10. We walk home where mom is just arriving and dad's probably been there for hours. I'm done and I let myself out.

Tuesday

7:30-9:00 AM

2:45-5:15 PM

A lot of the same without the soccer. Instead of soccer we go to the park if the weather is good which, luckily for me and babysitters across Washington Heights, it has been. I get them home by 5/5:15 and I'm done.

Wednesday

7:30-9:00 AM

The mornings are the same. I'm with the Girls and get them to school. But I'm done with them after drop off.

The Dread Begins.

5-9:45 PM

I pick up Big Chubby. She's an older sister. I get her from her after school program and try my hardest to convince her to walk the 5ish blocks to Lil' Chubby's (her brother) daycare so we can get him. As you can imagine by her name she's not a fan of walking and demands either bus or taxi but if I'm firm and quick-witted I can usually get her to walk. Since her mom never pays me for transportation I'm not about to spend money on a practically 10 second bus ride. (Though, in mom's defense, if I work really late for them they will call for a cab and pay for it)

We pick up Lil' Chubby and head to the park (again, weather permitting) or home. They play pretty well together while I microwave their heavily processed, always from the freezer dinners. I'm pretty sure they keep the chicken nugget market in the black.

Dinner, bath, naked running around, one pre-school themed show On Demand, book, teeth, and then a battle for them to sleep. Lil' Chubby NEVER sleeps. He has to be kept out of the bedroom just so Big Chubby can fall asleep, which she doesn't want to so she never complains if he's keeping her up. It takes her about 40 minutes to crash and then I'm trying the rest of the night to trick Lil' Chub to fall asleep. Either on the couch or mom's bed. He won't have any of it. He's holding out until a parent comes home. They totally know this but mom still seems bugged when she's the first one home and he's still awake. Dad never seems surprised.

I will be brutally honest (me, no!) These are not my favorite kids to watch. They are the kids that started my 'babysitting career' but they are not my favorites. And don't get me wrong: the other kids are difficult but I'd take them any day over The Chubs.

Big Chubby is a bi-polar, smart-mouth, grown-up ignoring, diva, tantrum-throwing QUEEN. If you waiver IN ANY WAY from the standard routine she freaks THE FUCK OUT. I mean...it's ridiculously scary. Now, I know kids need routine. I'm all for it. But the rest of the kids I sit for if I'm doing something “wrong” or not like mommy, they tell me. For the most part they tell me in a pretty level-headed, reasonable way and they explain how mommy does it so I can fix it and they can be happy. They understand that I'm not mommy so sometimes they give me some leeway and are pretty forgiving. BUT NOT BIG CHUBBY.

The other night I started making the personal pizzas with Lil' Chubby at the kitchen counter and not at the dining table and she turned bright red, screamed bloody fucking murder, threw her body on the floor, got up, ran to her room, slammed the door (so hard that she was actually stuck inside when she tried to come out which triggered another tantrum) and yelled 5-year-old obscenities about how much she hated having me as a babysitter. And this shit went on ALL NIGHT. You couldn't blink without her freaking out.

Again, kids have tantrums, but she takes the fucking cake. And I think that what really gets to me about it all is that she's THE OLDEST kid I babysit but she's the most difficult, unhelpful one.

FUCKING WEDNESDAY.

Moving on.

Thursday

8:30am-3:30pm

I arrive at The Boys apartment. I hang with Little Boy who is THE BOMB. He still shits in his pants but he's my absolute favorite. We chill, play, go for walks, eat snacks and lunch, he takes a nap but it sometimes takes me an hour to try and get him to fall asleep. But it doesn't matter. He's awesome.

3:30-9:45 PM

We go and pick up Big Boy from school. Depending on the day Big Boy can be charming or stressful. But I feel we've found a good rhythm and I just have to keep the peace. He's pretty independent and it's just a matter of making sure he doesn't physically hurt another kid as he doesn't quite understand that not everyone loves being punched in the face.

We chill, I avoid the playground as much as possible because he'll get into it with another kid. If I'm convincing enough we'll walk in the park and go look at the woodchucks who live by the flower garden and are out finding dinner at that time. We'll go home. I cook them dinner (ugh), give them baths, and put them to bed. It's not easy, they don't love bedtime but some days are easier than others. I just have to remain calm because Big Boy loves knowing that he's annoying you. But still-he can be pretty cool.

Friday

Back to The Girls. 7:30-9 AM and 2:45-5 PM. If I survive (Friday's are hard simply because I'm exhausted from two late nights in a row and Thursday's epic hours) I get paid and try and enjoy the weekend.

High Class Hoarding

Frittata: The Next Step

I finally grabbed the bull by the horns and made this:


I got the recipe from the Williams Sonoma catalog that I am now on the mailing list for after using a gift card given to me by awesome parents at my former job which wasn't so awesome but seems awesome because it was during a time when I received paychecks-ya dig?
Anyway, it was tasty and it looks really pretty and I'm sure if you leave the sausage out it's a nice vegetarian option. I had become really comfortable making a simple spinach frittata and so I thought I was ready to try something a tad more elaborate. Mark's stomach approves. (and it actually did look like this when I was all done)

I DON'T LIKE
Did you see the Mad Men like two weeks ago? The one with the Don Draper voice over? I'm so not into it. He's 'journaling' or something. Maybe...I don't know. All I know is I don't want to hear it ever again. It really bothered me.

ARE YOU SERIOUS!?
So Hoarders on A&E is sometimes awesome. Awesomely horrible. There was this one new episode about this family of four: Mom and Dad, ages 70 and 71. Daughter and Son, ages 38 and 39. They all live together in the home which just tells you something is off with the clan. I mean...you have kids living at home almost 40 years old and it's not like they were married then divorced or have fallen on tough economic times....they just never left.
So anyway, they live in absolute filth and they are a creepy, angry family who is very much not liking participating in Hoarders because their home is private! Dammit! Basically mom fell in the home and was pinned under stuff, firefighters were called in and when they saw the monstrosity of the home they were reported to city officials who said "Clean up or lose the home".
So basically the episode ends with a cleaned out home that is in such horrible disrepair the city condemns the house and they are forced to leave. BUT the point of the story is that during the show there are lots of camera shots that sweep through the home to give you an idea of the cluster f*ck of garbage that is heaped into these rooms.
So at one point angry, creepy dad is watching tv in his hideous recliner and he's watching....a flat screen tv. A FLAT SCREEN TV! I'm sorry. You live in a garbage heap. You have no running water (none, not even in the bathroom, just imagine), you have zero access to your kitchen, your ceiling has partially collapsed in numerous rooms but you have a flat screen. I don't have a flat screen. As a matter of fact it's offensive how large and boxy my tv is! What is wrong with this world.....